wh0re-mouth:

noitsfabrayberry:

person: he’s so hot

lesbian: i don’t think he’s that attractive

person: yeah but you’re not sexually attracted to men

lesbian: i’m not sexually attracted to shoes either but i can still tell when i think a pair looks good

THANK YOU

(via fronaucity)

fit-personality:
"Ugh fruit has so much sugar omg it will totes make me fat." NO. Fruit is very high in water and has little to no fat (with the rare exception of things like avocado… which is God’s gift to man so we should eat that anyway). The sugar it contains is natural sugars which are good for you.
Speaking of sugar, it has way less than things with added sugar. 1 whole cup of strawberries has about 7 grams, while 1 can of soda has about 30 grams on average. I’ll take my strawberries with some lemon squeezed on that because there simply isn’t enough fruit for me in just the strawberries.
Have you ever tasted pineapple? Yeah. That shit is delicious.
Fruit smoothie? You mean the healthy delicious treat that is the perfect amount of smooth and cold and is just the icing on the cake of a hot summer day? Yes. Please direct me to the nearest Jamba Juice.
Oh, so many pretty colors. I think even dogs can see that beautiful piercing pink of dragon fruit.
Antioxidants. All the antioxidants.
Weird is good. There are weird fruits. See this list for proof.  
There is lots of dietary fiber in fruit. Who doesn’t like pooping regularly AMIRIGHT?
There is no cholesterol, extremely low sodium, and low calories.
It all just tastes fucking delicious and if we are so paranoid that something as healthy as fruit is making us fat I am probably just going to leave society and live in the wilderness amongst the fruits. I will live with the fruit and I will eat it and be happy because it’s good and lets all just have a great day and eat some rambutans god bless.

fit-personality:

  1. "Ugh fruit has so much sugar omg it will totes make me fat." NO. Fruit is very high in water and has little to no fat (with the rare exception of things like avocado… which is God’s gift to man so we should eat that anyway). The sugar it contains is natural sugars which are good for you.
  2. Speaking of sugar, it has way less than things with added sugar. 1 whole cup of strawberries has about 7 grams, while 1 can of soda has about 30 grams on average. I’ll take my strawberries with some lemon squeezed on that because there simply isn’t enough fruit for me in just the strawberries.
  3. Have you ever tasted pineapple? Yeah. That shit is delicious.
  4. Fruit smoothie? You mean the healthy delicious treat that is the perfect amount of smooth and cold and is just the icing on the cake of a hot summer day? Yes. Please direct me to the nearest Jamba Juice.
  5. Oh, so many pretty colors. I think even dogs can see that beautiful piercing pink of dragon fruit.
  6. Antioxidants. All the antioxidants.
  7. Weird is good. There are weird fruits. See this list for proof.  
  8. There is lots of dietary fiber in fruit. Who doesn’t like pooping regularly AMIRIGHT?
  9. There is no cholesterol, extremely low sodium, and low calories.
  10. It all just tastes fucking delicious and if we are so paranoid that something as healthy as fruit is making us fat I am probably just going to leave society and live in the wilderness amongst the fruits. I will live with the fruit and I will eat it and be happy because it’s good and lets all just have a great day and eat some rambutans god bless.

(via fujiberryfitness)

lampsandtoasters:

kapooyah:

bellabracha:

what even IS american culture

it’s just a big ball of different cultures with no set value 

i don’t get it

image

this might just be the most accurate discription of america ever

(Source: cockedtail, via raidmyshorts)

vinebox:

what a time to be alive

vinebox:

what a time to be alive

(Source: ruinedchildhood, via ruinedchildhood)

daenerysknope:

nyooms:

putlocker my main bitch, sockshare my side bitch, gorillavid my 3am booty call

(via thatbluebox)

sharkchunks:

fennecwolfox:

oeste:

misterhippity:

I tried a 2-D printer once, and the paper jammed.
So now I just painstakingly re-create my paper copies by hand, like a medieval monk.

i tried using paper, but the edges crumpled
so now i just chisel my commandments into stone, like old testament god

I tried using stone, but it cracked and broke.
Now I just scream everything at passersby, hoping they’ll remember what I said so I can ask them about it when I need it.

I tried shouting things at passersby but they ignored me.
Now I emit allohormones in a gypsobelum that bonds selectively with the recipient’s hemolymph to reconfigure their bursa copulax into a copulatory canal. I can only say one thing, “I want to mate with you,” but really, what else ever needs to be said?

sharkchunks:

fennecwolfox:

oeste:

misterhippity:

I tried a 2-D printer once, and the paper jammed.

So now I just painstakingly re-create my paper copies by hand, like a medieval monk.

i tried using paper, but the edges crumpled

so now i just chisel my commandments into stone, like old testament god

I tried using stone, but it cracked and broke.

Now I just scream everything at passersby, hoping they’ll remember what I said so I can ask them about it when I need it.

I tried shouting things at passersby but they ignored me.

Now I emit allohormones in a gypsobelum that bonds selectively with the recipient’s hemolymph to reconfigure their bursa copulax into a copulatory canal. I can only say one thing, “I want to mate with you,” but really, what else ever needs to be said?

(via raidmyshorts)